Etymologist Pillows

Salt was given to Roman soldiers as wages. That was their 'Salarium' which is the origin of our word 'salary'.

"Let's go William! Get your head in the game!"

"Hello, I'm Clifton Latimer."

"Oh, vowels are so 2019!"

Etymology

"Did you know the word 'faith' is a linguistic blend of the Latin words 'faigus' and 'phytolith'? Don't question it. Just believe me."

Caveman Dictionaries

'It's a knock-knock joke.'

"Well, you see...the Spanish word for 'talk' is 'habla'...but it's not nice to laugh at someone who talks too much, so you get rid of the 'ha'...and you're left with 'bla'."

When Chairs Attack

"I wanted to study etymology, but turned up for the wrong interview."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Tut and Carmen.

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Venus

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Physician tending a mummy.

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

The Elliot Ness monster.

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"It feels good to unwind..."

"Nuts to you, too."

Sauce for the Goose

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Another day in the Splenda mines