Ethical Sourcing Pillows

"Are you from a Fair Trade Farm?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

View to the Future

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Is the MSG local?"

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Is it free-range?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'Rob is a vegan.'

Consumption Graph.

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."