Ethical Eating Enthusiast Pillows

The salary was terrific, but something about Sally's new job made her very uneasy.

"Are all of your carcinogens produced locally?"

'We don't have any specials today. However, all entrees featuring ingredients known to cause cancer in laboratory animals are half price.

"I'll be awhile, folks. We have a free-range chef and he's run off again."

'Our approach is so humane we're even letting young Colin here take a gap year.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

View to the Future

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Is it free-range?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'