Eternal Usher T-Shirts

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

"What can you tell me about the meaning of death?"

Damned if you do...

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"I was admitted to heaven, but they didn't have WIFI."

"I've got a new job, mom! I'm in show business!"

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

Stadium usher of the month.

There will now be an interval while the film comes back on.

"Nope. No mistake. You’ve been booked... forever."

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"I’ve finally caught up on all the reels you’ve sent me."

"What's the current return on investment?"

Homo Sapiens: always searching for answers.

Annuals, Perennials, and Eternals

Existing for eternity - a fate worse than death

A never ending 3D maze knot.

"Continuous piped music! No wonder so many opt for reincarnation."

"Guess what? I'm taking an eternity leave."

"Hold on there, didn't we just do this last week?"

'Don't get me started - I could go on about infinity forever.'

A flower nursery: 'Annuals' 'Perennials' 'Eternals'

"I understand he's here on a business trip."

Even though all of the positions were filled, Herman was convinced that his calling was to be an usher - somehow, someway.

(heaven): true, I came into and left the world naked, in-between a great legacy

"Joan has a 'young voice' for her age!"

'For the last time, Kevin - I'm not carrying a torch for you. I'm a cinema usherette.'

"Excuse me, folks - could I see your tickets?"