Aspiring Usher T-Shirts

Even though all of the positions were filled, Herman was convinced that his calling was to be an usher - somehow, someway.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Presenter Auditions.

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

"I'm not sure I'd want fifteen minutes of fame. Mum would only follow it with fifteen minutes of criticism."

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"Shouldn't be long before we're at the top."

IF A MOO CAN RISE TO THE TOP, SO CAN I

"Well, if I can't get an increase based on merit, how about one based on the cost of living beyond my means?"

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

"I've got a new job, mom! I'm in show business!"

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

"I enjoyed your request for a raise. I've seldom read a more aspirational document."

"Larry and Phil aren't sure what they want to do, but Michael is interested in show business."

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

"Explain to me again why they pay him the big bucks."

'If hired, where do you see yourself with the company in five years?'

"I know I'm good looking, but am I good looking enough to move to California?"

'Okay, I'll do one more dog food commercial, but I don't want to get typecast.'

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

Lousy agent.