Eternal Style Seeker T-Shirts

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Baroque Peacock

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Pampered and poodled.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I don't like your application."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Do you do much walking?"

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Elegant woman in backless dress.

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'I'll take it!'

Changing Room Decisions

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"