Eternal Ref Consultants T-Shirts

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

'We've re-branded.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

This is forever... till death do us part...

"That's our new church mascot."

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Leaf Thinks: 'At times like this I'm happy to have a green job.'

COP29

Your ad here!

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

Ecological balance.

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

"What about my footprint?"

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

The Earth as a habitat being poisoned by pollution (symbolised by car exhaust fumes)

Recycling centre

'Joe's really slow to take hint...she's been wearing that dress for two years.'

Population train.

Energy performance certificate nailed to wall exhausts employer.

Branding Consultant

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

Energy trap.

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"Maybe we should consider changing the name."

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."