Eternal Gourmand Gifts

"Finally, right?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

A London gent abroad

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

God Cooks Up Evolution

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

You've Got Mail

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

'Next time YOU pronounce it!'

"Unitarian. You?"

'Creme Vichyssoise?' 'I'll have a cheese roll.'

Birthday cakes from around the world