Eternal Golfer Pillows

'Um... no. I don't think so.'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'He lived and died for golf.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

God in the bunker.

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Football Angel

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

'Where's your other glove?'

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

'We're looking for missionaries to cover the golf courses and shopping malls.'

"Nope. No mistake. You’ve been booked... forever."

Luckily I hit the pin!

"Never stop learning"

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

Too many beers at lunch?

"My kind of course."

'Me retire? Never!!!'

'Sudden death?'

'Once again, Stuart was heading the leaderboard at the office golf open'

"Sorry Dick. I kinda sliced that one."

'T.M., have you ever considered taking up golf like most executives?'

'I somehow always knew heaven would be like this!'

"But this is eternity...you've got to have a hobby!"

"My son's going back. Have you anything for a 78 year old."

'The only thing he has in common with Tiger is the woods.'

'Please remember that I'm only seeing you because I couldn't get a tee time.'

Golfers' Heaven

Golf Sale

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'