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Homeless elderly parents - 'Isn't it nice that our kids are finally on the property ladder?'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

For sale. Prime space under Jimmy's bed.

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'The roof needs icing.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

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'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'Is the fire included?'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Mouse real estate!

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

One tends to the sick. The other manages a large estate. Interestingly, a caregiver and a caretaker are not on opposite sides of an interaction.

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'