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'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Let's get organized

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

A Day In The Kitchen

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"I see you've security marked your property."

"By labeling it, I control it."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

For sale. Prime space under Jimmy's bed.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Hassled Mother.

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

'The roof needs icing.'