Essay Aficionado T-Shirts

Edgar Allen Poe

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

Ironing Punctuation

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

My Literary Influences

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

LIBRARY, 'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Friedrich Schiller

How a poet works

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Short story. Collected works. The Tolstoy gulp