Error Enthusiast Gifts

'Wait! Relax. I had it backward. You actually have a baseball the size of a tumor.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

The hall of bad ideas.

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

'He needs professional HELP!'

"My God, now what?"

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

Fire Backwards.

'Oh - It's you.'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

"I've got a pulse!"

"We ran into a marathon."

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'Which is it, Bill? You had a terrible accident and survived without a scratch. Or, you had a terrible accident and lost a lot of blood?'

'I said he needs an ambulance! Not ambiance!'

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'

'84% of our losses are due to accounting errors.'

"Last question, and how would you rate the ambulance response time to today's accident?"

Water Drop with a Surprise

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers