Ergonomic Explorer Pillows

Laparoscopic surgeons' night out.

Lumbar support animal

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

There is No Planet C

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

Imagine

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

"Damn, I forgot to pack a jumper."

'Ah, beauty in the eye of the beholder!'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Computer neck.

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I think I deserve more than a stub on Wikipedia."

Recession - A Zen Mindfulness Retreat

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

The Scenic Route

As Seen On TV