Equity Lawyer Gifts

"I told them at the office that I was sick of working 80 hour weeks, that I was going home to give my kid a bath and put him to bed....But when I got home I discovered that my son had turned into a 26 year old equity lawyer while I was in meetings."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

A child runs an equity stand.

wealth investment

'You may be the best man for the job, but I have a dozen women who are better qualified.'

'You have a balanced investment portfolio. Everything you own is losing money equally.'

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

"He downgraded Apple."

Got Rationality?

"You don't see much in the way of rioting and looting when an unarmed white man is killed by the police."

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

'What do you mean, you want a coffee break?!'

"Don't tell me we've got to stay even longer in this godforsaken dump!"

Oxfam report shows the 8 richest men as much wealth as the poorer half of humanity.

'Always bought low.'

"I want a bigger slice."

"The bad news is it's all our clients' money."

Stock Exchange. I don't worry about whether or not stocks are going to fall. I worry about whether they're going to bounce or go "splat" when they do fall.

Not a Work Place, A Woke Place.

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

Equity Table Dance Club

Flip That Universe with Albert Einstein

'Ms. Booth, your portfolio is full of sound and fury signifying zero returns.'

"The equities markets loves me, the equities markets love me not. . ."

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

'I can remember when banks competed for customers...Now its shareholders.'

Next year will be a good time to buy tech stocks. The tip of the iceberg.

'I'm starting to wonder if all my 'Account Executive' got on her broker's exam was nail polish.'

"Sorry, Rudy, no way can I raise your pay to $15 an hour." "Why not?" "'Cause that would destroy jobs. What would you do for a job once I moved the cafe to somewhere where people earn much less?" "If people earn much less, they won't be able to afford your products." "If there's one thing people love more than affording to buy stuff, it's buying stuff they can't afford." "Sweet, innocent Rudy."

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

'I'm in equities and mutual funds. You?'

"We're a colourblind company here.. to us you are black and invisible."

"I hope they cut your loopholes on dividends and capital gains!"