Equinoxes Gifts

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I don't do windows."

Super Student

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

The First Day of Fall.

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

'Mistakes were made...'

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

"It's pumpin spice latte season - I feel it in the air."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"What's the occasion?"

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

'I got an 'A' in munitions.'

Sun Wearing Sunglasses/Moon Wearing Night Vision Goggles

'It must be Spring...the rain's warm!'

Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.