Equal Opportunity Officers Gifts

Equal opportunities inspector "I hear he got his job because he knew someone"

"We're looking for someone just like you but with testicles."

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

Statue of Female Executive

"We don't pay you less because you're a woman.. we pay you less because we're men!"

"People are always banging on about the advantages of 'so-called' diversity."

'Hi love, I've just come to clean your glass ceiling.'

"I feel your pain. It's the least I can do for not paying you like a man."

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

"We don't put up with sexist behaviour here, I just want you to see yourself as one of the chaps."

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

Women Possibilities

'I need to find you a company with strong anti-discrimination policies...'

Sweet Girl Graduates

I'm reporting you for discriminating against tall people!

"My Dear Lady, what a perfectly charming idea! I wonder which of us gentlemen put it into your attractive little head."

'I know you're committed to hiring the handicapped, but a Press Secretary with Tourette's?'

'We believe in seeing ability, not disability. In your case, we see neither.'

"I pay Hodges like a woman, so it's only natural that I pay you less."

'Can you dance?'

"Your application is excellent, but I'm afraid you suffer from not being enough like everyone else."

'The law requires me to tell you that we don't discriminate, gramps.'

'Sorry Mr Platypus, but we have little need for a swimming-instructor around here...'

"And what exactly makes you think you'd be a good fit for our firm."

Employment Office.

'No, the woman of the house is at work. May I help you?'

"Of course we employ the disabled. Halve the staff here are not able to get to work on time, the rest are not able to focus on the job."

'Yes, does the work of two me...or one woman.'

'Diversity is good, pass it down.'

'We need to get an equal pay expert in...'

'We are not a sexist employer, so we ask all employees exactly the same questions. Now, 'what happens if you become pregnant?''

"Excellent application, would you like to come back when you're a man?"

'On second thoughts I'm sure you'd make an excellent store detective, Mr Hodgson.'

'Job centre' doorway as a machine for washing humans