Equal Opportunity Officer Gifts

"We don't pay you less because you're a woman.. we pay you less because we're men!"

'Boss, I feel discriminated against. My department manager gropes every female colleague except me!'

'Our company practises anti-discrimination. Are you female? Are you a member of any kind of minority?. . .'

Equal Opportunities: 'Sure I am -- I'm a minority of one!'

"My client alleges age discrimination in your hiring process."

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

Statue of Female Executive

"People are always banging on about the advantages of 'so-called' diversity."

'Hi love, I've just come to clean your glass ceiling.'

"I feel your pain. It's the least I can do for not paying you like a man."

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

"We don't put up with sexist behaviour here, I just want you to see yourself as one of the chaps."

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

Women Possibilities

'I need to find you a company with strong anti-discrimination policies...'

Sweet Girl Graduates

I'm reporting you for discriminating against tall people!

"We're looking for someone just like you but with testicles."

Equal opportunities inspector "I hear he got his job because he knew someone"

We are an equal opportunities employer - It's true. They pay the same lousy wages to men and women.

"My Dear Lady, what a perfectly charming idea! I wonder which of us gentlemen put it into your attractive little head."

'I know you're committed to hiring the handicapped, but a Press Secretary with Tourette's?'

"Your application is excellent, but I'm afraid you suffer from not being enough like everyone else."

'Can you dance?'

'We believe in seeing ability, not disability. In your case, we see neither.'

"I pay Hodges like a woman, so it's only natural that I pay you less."

Woe Befall the Linguistic Interloper

'The law requires me to tell you that we don't discriminate, gramps.'

'Sorry Mr Platypus, but we have little need for a swimming-instructor around here...'

'Yes, does the work of two me...or one woman.'

"Of course we employ the disabled. Halve the staff here are not able to get to work on time, the rest are not able to focus on the job."

'No, the woman of the house is at work. May I help you?'

Employment Office.

"And what exactly makes you think you'd be a good fit for our firm."