Epic Quest Seeker Prints

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

The Salesman

Warrior Woman

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"You used to be that ambitious."

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

'It saves me the trouble of constantly asking myself 'What's my motivation?''

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"I think I need an eye check: I almost got fooled by a lure yesterday..."

"If we had invented the phone and computer, we would be at the top of the food chain. What a blown opportunity."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"Maybe I can be a campaign worker."

"Say, Homer - Enough reciting. Learn how to write, already."

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

"Stop chasing my tail? I'd be lost if I had no goal in life."

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

'I still love you, but I think I should see other dragons.'

"Yes, I'm the Cowardly Lion, and I want a double shot of single malt courage for the Yellow Brick Road."

"You'll never know if you can fly until you leap into the unknown."

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."