Ephemeral Economists Gifts

"I live for twenty four hours. How can I fund a 401 K?"

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

'Voodoo economics was bad enough, but this voodoo foreign policy....'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"Honey, come quick! I think I just bought Greece on Ebay!"

"Italy's national debt runs into trillions. How do you repossess a country?"

'The people who've been running our economy say we don't have to worry about global warming.'

Good Things About the Iraq War

'Sorry, lad, but I lost all me gold during the recession. All I can give ya is a buck thirty in change!'

'Greenspan was back for a guest appearance. He didn't say it's gonna be a bear market. He said it's a beware market!'

....Today the new economic forecasts get published...and that means we have to work overtime...sorry.

"...Or we could give to the rich, and it would just trickle down to the poor."

"We're trying to put the fun back into filing taxes."

Iain Duncan Smith: Welfare reform

Eternal Revenue Service. Now I understand why you can't take it with you.

'We'll know if capitalism is in real trouble if the rich stop getting richer.'

More toxic assets.

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"Leading economic indicators tell me I should go shopping."

Flat tax

'I only invented money last month, and I already have four payments due!'

"Now that we've received our stimulus checks I think I'll head down town and riot."

Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.

"Remember when we went out every weekend?? I miss that... Let's get dressed up and go somewhere really expensive!!"

Akme National Bank: Our Assets Can Whip Your Assets.

Covid Relief

Economic theory office with two boxes on desk - 'the rich get richer' and 'the poor get poorer'.

'Government economists said today's stock market drop was due to 'normal gravitational forces'.'

'Today, a downturn in 'social conscience' stocks on news that 'nice guys finish last'.'

The fleeting moment

Man weighing a pound sign against Great Britain.