Environmental Art Gifts

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Painting clouds

(Camel paintings)

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

The Selfie

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Wagging Dog

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

Cats at private view

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"I love your work!"

"He's an abstract artist."

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

'It's my main decorating motif.'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Instant art

Kapoor & Piss-poor (Anish Kapoor sculpture beside Marcel Deschamps urinal)

Sculptor's chippings

Smithsonian

"It's called 'Sold'."

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."