Entitlement Explorer Pillows

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

Carrot VS Stick

'She's still a novice yet.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

'He was working on a theory of entropy, and developed a severe case of it himself.'

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

Todays Sermon: 'Can our entitlements be saved?'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

Columbus discovers ... his feminine side.