Entitlement Explorer Pillows

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I shop, therefore I am."

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'She's still a novice yet.'

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Carrot VS Stick

Pre-Old Blues

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

'He was working on a theory of entropy, and developed a severe case of it himself.'

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

Todays Sermon: 'Can our entitlements be saved?'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

Columbus discovers ... his feminine side.

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"