Enthusiastic Reader Gifts

The British Hamlet. He says: 'Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ... well, I say knew, more of an acquaintance really. Only met the chap three or four times.'

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

John Bunyan

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"To be or not to be."

Don Quixote

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Sue the Author 3PM

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Treasure Island Book.

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

Moby Dick

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."