Enthusiastic Dog Handler T-Shirts

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Pushy Dog

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"She got a brand new whip for her birthday."

"He did it!"

Jumping Dogs

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

"I'll walk, you shovel."

The Sheepdog Trials

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

Playing with the dog with a boomerang.

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

"I lost my way and wandered through this white hell for five days before your brave rescue dog found me and saved me from starving to death!"

'Damn showdog people!'

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"This dog has wheels!"

A recurring crisis at the Farkinski farm

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"Listen, buddy, a lot of dogs accidentally wee-wee at Westminster."

'Did you read my email about Timmy falling down the well?'

"Where do you see yourself five years from now? Dog years, of course."

Police Dept. K-9 Unit. Just once I'd like to go undercover as a bad dog.

"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"

"Me admit was awesome idea but maybe saber tooth tiger just not cut out for domestication."

'Nowadays kiddo, we just need to herd the sheep, but my grandfather had to protect them from wolves!'

'Best guard dog we've ever had!'

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"