Enthusiast Of Irony T-Shirts

"Maybe you should have put the rescue note in the bottle rather than just floating it out to sea."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

End the Winter Blues

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'... But, wouldn't that be kind of like, cannibalism?'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."