Entering Job Market Pillows

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

"Go to school, study hard, then in the real world we have to compete against artificial intelligence."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

The Three Wise Queens

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

The Rubber Ball Company

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

How are you at decision making?

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

Do you have any other skills?

In and Out Sourced.

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"I don't like your application."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Between Offices

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."