Enlightened Explorer Pillows

"Don't play dumb with me!"

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

Guru with Computer

'I just came up with 910,547 meanings of life!'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Continuing education.

Paranormal A-Z...

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

Imagine

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'It's not for homework. It's for traction.'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"You know, I'm really more the 'humanities' type."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"You've been served."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'