Enjoys Crime Caper Comedies T-Shirts

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

'Not much cop are you!'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

Police Lineup Escape

"Regards from the kids, grandma, mom and pop, uncle Fred , Aunt Theresa and cousins Harvey, Flo and Niki. They all want to know where you hid the loot."

"Then I tried the move from business casual to white collar crime."

WANTED The Strad Cad

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

Clint Goodbuddy's plan to infiltrate the outlawed 'black hat' gangs' AGM was about to fall apart. . .

'Did he say anything before he died?'

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'