Engine Tinker Pillows

"I hate it hen the red oil light comes on!"

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Drool Marks

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sale! Weed Whackers

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Congratulations on your retirement!

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Sistine Selfie

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Waiting for retirement.

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Technology and literature