Engine Tinker Pillows

"I hate it hen the red oil light comes on!"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

Drool Marks

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sale! Weed Whackers

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Congratulations on your retirement!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Sistine Selfie

Waiting for retirement.

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Technology and literature