Engine Modifier T-Shirts

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Car Dentistry.

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

Biker At Museum

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

When did you last have your oil changed?

"It's worse than I thought."

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Cow outboard engine

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'We've found the problem...'

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

To scare the pants off of kids who threw snowballs at his car, Ray outfitted it with exploding fake body panels.

"Yeah, my master is a car enthusiast too, but instead of going on joy-rides with me, he spends his weekends tinkering with the engine..."

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

'If it starts, notice the roar of power.'

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

"Oh...that's not good."

Biker and Cyclist.

Organ Transplant Service - "Rather ironic isn't it...we need a new pump."