Engaging With Religious Communities T-Shirts

"I guess I missed more Sundays than I thought."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Arizona In Black

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"That's our new church mascot."

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'They're just a few bored students with some vague ideology. They'll be gone and forgotten in no time.'

Follow God On Twitter

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Interfaith dialogue

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'Our telephone 'get out the vote' drive reached everyone, unfortunately, they all voted for our opponent.'

Policing the Police

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"Now do you believe me that your snoring wakes up the whole neighborhood?"

"Let's start a small group."

'My son was nailed to the cross and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

HappyHouse Daycare. Family-owned & family-run since this many (fingers showing a count of seven) years.

Baptism - "Actually he's quite looking forward to it."

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Mums at play group.

'Last week's sermon was supposed to be about Plagues, but I got the flu.'

"Get lost. Besides, who ever heard of Girl Scout manicotti?!"

Pop's store's wanted ad: MOM.

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Happy Everything

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"