Religious Gatherings T-Shirts

The revival meeting.

"While Ralph was fine with discussing climate change in church, he often wished it would focus more on turning down the damn thermostat."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Christmas Tree

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

The prying mantis,

The devil you know and his plus one

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

celebrating a birth.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Paul goes home for the holidays

"You two seem oddly suited."

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Children's Party

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.