Energy-saving Warrior Gifts

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

Scientist in the department of energy: 'So far, so good, sir - we've learned how to make garbage out of oil.'

'Hybrid technology does make me feel safer.'

There's no real oil emergency...

EXXON EXTINCTION

"You have sewage between your teeth."

'I told you that roof turbine salesman was too pushy.'

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Organic farm

The UN Forest. . . after its latest 3000 page climate report is released.

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

Gas Bill

Kid about report on alternative fuels being due today: 'I just couldn't summon up the energy to do it.'

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

US Energy Consumption

'Pssst! Dump your toxic wastes?'

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

'It took four trees to make that sign.'

Over-packaged fruit and vegetables

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

Oil prices exceeding 105 dollars a barrel.

Wind turbines seen as a blot on the landscape by motorists who don't notice the impact of the motorway.

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

The Nine Circles of Heaven

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

'Stupid global warming!'

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"I've reduced our carbon footprint and replaced all our bulbs with energy efficient low wattage ones."