Endangerment Enthusiast T-Shirts

"We're baitfish - we'll always be endangered."

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

Optimist

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!

"Baldo, we need to talk."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"You look like the kind of folks who laugh at adversity."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

'What went particularly well?'

Halloween 2008.

"Did I like it? It frightened me to death! I had to close my eyes four times, my stomach is in knots, and I'll probably have nightmares for a week!... I loved it!"

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

"Waiter, I'd like to have Black Rhino for dessert!"

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

Count Flatula

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

The World's Most Evil Mastermind (and a man sitting in a chair).

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

Cleaner in a museum getting scared by the exhibits.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Oh, it's only you."

The Scream at the movie theater.

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

"It's a loaner until mine is back from the shop."

'I think I may be an adrenaline junkie.'

You need to transfer your fear of the falling stock market into a healthy activity. Try skydiving.

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators … Armstrong skis down a pile of his money … Without a helmet. Even that ancient hag Sadie has a dangerous hobby. Every year, in violation of both common sense and local fire safety ordinances, the old lady lights all the candles on her birthday cake. I heard that!!! Fun fact: The 20th century was one of the most brutal in h

2012,end of the world advice.

'Those are my best tights, don't you dare ladder them !'