"No, you can't go out like that. Just because the world is ending is no reason to dress like a heathen."
End-of-world Planner Pillows
Brighten their space with playful pillows themed around end-of-world plans. Comfortable and humorous, these are great for adding a lighthearted touch to any room.
Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.
"The end of my favorite series is near."
God's Sticky Notes
"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"
"Death coach..."
"The season finale of the world is near."
The other day during the zombie apocalypse
I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?
Doomsday marketing
'It looks like our time is up.'
'My backup special...'
"Yjere didn't seem any point in making any supper..."
'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'
"That reminds me, we must sort out your will."
'The end is near.'
'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'
Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.
"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."
"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."
"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."
"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "
"Things to do Today: Create the heaven and the earth."
Mr Meier calendar
It's 11 p.m. do you know if your portfolio allocation will carry you through armageddon?
'Well, he certainly lived every day as if it was his last.'
"You keep saying apocalyptic but I think you mean post-apocalyptic."
"Plate tectonics is going to kill us all."
"Forget the comet! We're going to make a killing on end-of-the-word merchandise!"
Man with sign reading 'The end already happened. This is the sequel'.
"This primitive communication device is all that's left of what was once a thriving civilization."
"It is the end of the world, but who would have thought it would be so noninvasive and convenient."
The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here
"Today our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington."
"Of course, if this one flops we're done."
End-of-world Planner Pillows Collection
End-of-world Planner Mugs
Looking for more humorous gifts? Browse our collection of mugs featuring end-of-world themes and witty survival quotes for daily inspiration.
End-of-world Planner Prints
Browse our collection of quirky prints about end-of-world planning, adding a fun and artistic touch to your decor or gift giving.
End-of-world Planner T-Shirts
Explore our range of end-of-world planner t-shirts, perfect for the prepper with a sense of humor or anyone who loves a creative twist on apocalyptic themes.