Emts Mugs

"Termite spray, stat!"

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Gracie's baby toys.

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

Before the development of the microchip, attempts to build a laptop computer were largely unsuccessful.

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

Internet Cafe.

Airport Bored Rooms

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

Bad times to sneeze

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"Lucky Guess."

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Lithium Fair

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"