Employment Reform Gifts

"I can't put my finger on it but I just can't see him fitting in."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

37 years in the same position.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

Work Slave

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

In and Out Sourced.

Between Offices

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Healthcare declaration

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"