Employment Discussions T-Shirts

Employee Evaluations Today. This is what I hate most about being married to the job --- Having to talk about the relationship.

'Why did you leave your previous place?'

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

Today's Sermon: We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. Is there any chance of a bailout?

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

Nothing to Lose

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

'You're asking for money? Now you're really pushing it.'

What motivates you? Apart from earning enough money to keep me alive?

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'