Employee In Transition Gifts

'Your job hasn't been DOWNSIZED.. it's been CAPSIZED.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Work Parfait

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Welcome aboard. We will endeavor to treat you with dignity and respect. Now get you and your stupid face out of my office."

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Caged Businessman

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

'Absent friends!'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

Meet the new factory manager.

Ace headhunters.

"It looks like we're reorganizing again."

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."