Emotional Worker Gifts

"I think I'm making progress. My agonized ambivalence has given way to plain old agony."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

"Enough already! You’re depressing me!"

'So, your anger management class is working?'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

Pregnant woman enters door marked: 'Mommy Time ... With Pre and Post-Natal Hug Therapy'

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

"Too much caffeine for Mr. Hopper"

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

Crying parent holds crying baby.

Sadly, Barbara was the only one to show up at the support group for those with abandonment issues.

A woman taking her heart for a walk.

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

Pretty Soon: Increasingly dim TV newscasters will need help knowing what emotions to convey when they are 'reporting'.

'Thanks for the coaching, the tears did the trick: My parents bought me a mobile phone!'

'How many are just staying together for the kids? OK, that's good, very good.'

Speaker: 'I've lost my will to go on ... is there a motivational speaker in the house?'

"What do I want to do? I want to do what you want to do and then resent you for being controlling."

"Which version of yourself was the one who sabotaged the relationship?"

'Always had difficulty expressing my anger. Even before the botox injections.'

'My profession has probably been transformed again just since we started this session.'

'Gregory, do you suppose our relationship could be too meaningful?'

"Try and give me... happy."

"Yes, this makes sense. I shall find my feelings and punch them."