Emotional Shopper Pillows

'Quit blubbering. This is why I hate taking you shopping.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Cut Price

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

Relationship Warning Lights

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Large Emoticon Collider

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

The Map of the Human Heart

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."