Emotional Referee Pillows

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Saving a Heart

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Oh, we don't keep score in our marriage, Dr. Downs, but if we did, I'd be winning 212 to 137.'

'Now what?!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'