Emotional Motivator Pillows

"My mother was overbearing and my father neglected me! Hut, hut!"

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

'I made my own list of My World's 100 Most Powerful Women!'

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

GCSEs

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

When we believe together we achieve together.

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

Team Leader

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

Sinking sales

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

"Any questions regarding our financial incentive plan?"

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

Anxiety of Change

'Try as I may to get my ducks in a row, here's always some turkey stepping out of line.'

Image changing.

'We're not exactly sure why it works yet but his productivity is up 50.'

Every Day is a Gift

'Maybe framed copies of your mortgage, auto loan, and tuition loans are too much of a motivator. Maybe you need a financial planner.'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

'Since we programmed all of Sousa's marches into their IPOD's, production is up 27%.'

"You make me want to be a better bag."

"So what really motivates your colleagues?"

Motivation: No Recognition, Poor Rewards, Bureaucracy.