Emotional Comedian T-Shirts

'She ran off with my credit rating.'

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Phoenix

Barman In Love.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

Caterpillars in love

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

Banana

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'Sharing the same skin-type is fine. But, as a basis for a stable marriage...'

We met online.

'Darling, this is my ex. You know, the one I said you were twice the man of.'

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

And do you, Sue, believe this is the best you can do? / It was a simple ceremony. Perhaps a little too simple.

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

'Why do I have the felling that your parents don't trust me?'

"The five-second rule doesn't apply to soup."

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

A dog with a heart shaped hole in his body