Embroidery Gifts

'How long have you been unemployed? I have never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

I quilt therefore I am

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

Sew on a sequin!

Zorro, The Embroiderer

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

The Five Sisters of York

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

'I love it, grandma! Thank you for the thong quilt!'

"It's a sampler, like everything else in my life."

Arts and crafts

I love embroidery

Cross stitch

Sew...

Flower Bed

Man sewing himself into a chair.

"Killer, we gotta talk!"

"It's a beginner's sewing kit I put together for you. There's scissors, needles, bandaids, gauze, antiseptic. . ."

'Needlepoint Viewpoint.'

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'They say plastic canvas relieves stress. I sure hope this works.'

'When we get back this trip is going to need some embroidering.'

Embroidery for the under - 18s

Harps and Embroidery.

A needlepoint message to free Martha Stewart.

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

'Can't you read? It says 'no smocking'!'

A couple deciding whether to enter their puppy into a dog show

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.