Emberalmer Pillows

"If you think he's doing a bad job with this, you should see him trying to wrap a birthday present!!"

Bowled over again!

'No ice.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Text Culture

'I blame global warming!'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

Wilfried Zaha

"I quit."

"Have you forgotten you're proposing?"

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

"Sorry, boss, I do care if I ever get back — that was just the peanuts and Cracker Jack talking."

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

Football fans in corona times

A field goal kicker kicks his teamate instead of the ball through the goal posts.

'I see your site doesn't have a 'like' button. The good news is it doesn't need one.'

"And then I met some computer people who could make it look as if I were talking."

'Last quarter, Jeremy, you dropped two passes. Could you tell our viewers how you plant to catch this pass?'

Cactus Uses An Umbrella When Raining.

"He always get emotional when th super bow;'s on and the end of football season is finally here..."

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

"Don't you just love how the snow covers all the dog crap?"

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

"Offside? By a fingertip? It's football not handball!"

"... and if you guys don't shape up, I'm going to have to start kicking some butt around here."

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

Droplet with a pencil.