Embassy Explorers Gifts

Julian Assange

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

'We've created a teenager!'

"I don’t understand why they aren’t happy, we give them challenging, demanding work and let them do it 80 hours a week!"

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

A psychic mows the lawn.

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

Department of Dot Connection

The Oil of Iran

Codependipity.

'Let's take this step by step -- first, I want you to recognize each other's right to exist.'

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

God: 'Man has dominion over fish...beasts...and germs have dominion over man.'

'Who was Noah's wife?'

'Exactly who is fighting against whom in Syria?'

'I can't talk to you now, I'm on a mission.'

'Let's beat it before he realizes he's eating our decoy!'

"Dudes - we should make the last booby trap a giant bowling ball!"

"I can't believe how deep the potholes are this spring!!"

Praying monk with steeple hands.

"He bought it on holiday."

'As you see, it's just a stone's throw from your embassy.'

'It's a selfie.'

Homeless Vet - Will fill you in on the origins of my post-traumatic stress $5.

"I hope it's not contagious."

"You're always so politically correct."

'I thought opportunity was knocking. Turned out, it was the wolf.'