Email Subscription Ninja Pillows

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Spam in Hell.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

Messenger of the gods in the digital age.

The Horn of Unanswered Email

"Are you sending emails or ZZZ mails?"