Email Ninja Pillows

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

While you were out...

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Can't talk now - ping me, yeah?"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Out and In.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Go team!

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Trade Show Sherpas

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Spam in Hell.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

The Card Flinger

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob