Email Etiquette Advocate Prints

'I'm not being bullied...it's from my boss.'

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

"I don't mind getting email from you, Stevens. But don't ever send me another smiley-face emoji."

"My son, using 'Reply All' is not a sin."

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."

"Can I help you?"

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

A tombstone reads: please note, I will no longer be answering emails. If this is urgent contact Cliff or Rhoda.

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

"For the last time, Maurice! Don't send out curses by e-mail!"

'That's insubordination! How dare you type in all caps to me!'

'Twitter or tweet-free?'

'When I texted you all regarding the manner in which he died, I was disappointed by how many of you responded with 'lol'.'

14 days since the last inappropriate e-mail

Did you take the last cup and not make another pot?

"Email tone is tricky... I can never tell if they're wagging."

Tweet Others As You Would Have Them Tweet You.

"That was a typo. I need you to form a special task group."

'Put away that damned smartphone!'

Tuesday Afternoon at the Osaka No-Tell Motel

'Will that be the constantly looking down at smart phones section or family that talks to each other section?'

"Every time I close my correspondence with 'warm regards' I feel a little creepy."

"Stop hitting 'Reply All.'"

A recent study found frequent use of cell phones can present a serious health risk to the incredibly inconsiderate.

"Stop interrupting! I'm trying to have a conversation with someone."

"I know you're new here, but the next time you send the boss a text, don't start it with 'OMG'!"